Home / Just For Laughs / 7 Useless Exercises To Avoid Like The Plague
7 Useless Exercises To Avoid Like The Plague18/10/2017
There are a multitude of reasons why most walk through those gym doors.
Perhaps you still get ID’d for a 15-rated movie despite being over 25?
Maybe a 73 year old pensioner was in a laughing fit watching you struggle carrying your Tesco shopping bags home?
Or maybe Tyrone, the shredded PT at Fitness First, was focusing on your girlfriend a lot more compared to his other clients and, while wanting to smash his face in, you wanted to look like him?
Whatever the reason may be, bettering yourself physically is a very noble pursuit.
Whilst there are a number of exercises which will help you pack on incredible size, there are also a number of useless exercises you should never do.
For starters, they won’t help you take on Tyrone.
And secondly, they will more often than not cause injury and a heap of other issues.
Who wants that? Certainly not you.
Below are 7 pointless exercises which are not worth your time:
7 Useless Exercises To Avoid In The Gym
#1 – Wrist Curls
Just don’t bother.
If you pay north of £30 a month to join a well-equipped gym and wrist curls is on your agenda for the day, do yourself a favour and burn your newly purchased fitness clothes and flush your supplements down the toilet as you almost certainly won’t be needing them.
Strong wrists have almost no functional use unless you can’t crack open a bottle of water and need your little sister to do it for you.
Stick to age old compound exercises such as dead lifts, pull-ups and and bent over rows which strengthen your grip as a by-product of working the primary muscle groups you are targeting.
Avoid wasting your time in the gym by doing this horrifyingly useless exercise and looking like a tit in the process.
#2 – Smith Machine Squats
Not only is the Smith Machine for wimps, pussies and those who don’t know what the fuck they’re doing – it is great for destroying your knees.
The fixed position of the bar means there is little to no activation in the hamstrings to support the squatting movement.
If that wasn’t enough:
It also prevents your back from forming a natural arch which will most likely result in you paying good ol’ Dr Schwartz a visit to fix your Lumbar Disc Herniation (also known as a snapped up spinal cord).
So, unless you’re looking to remain mobile well into your golden years, you should avoid this exercise all together.
Instead, perform a squat with a barbell across your back.
This will help you grow a more menacing physique and is a much better exercise from a functional perspective.
You will almost certainly stack the Smith Machine with plates you couldn’t possibly manage without the extra support, thus, increasing your chances of being another “squat fail” victim across 9gag.
Don’t be a cunt and perform a real squat.
#3 – Abductor/Adductor Machine
There’s a reason why these machines are usually located in the back corner of the gym.
Squeezing your thighs together and thrusting them apart not only makes you look you’re about to give birth, but it also makes you look like the biggest twat on the gym floor.
Awkward glances are all that come with these pointless exercises as you strengthen muscles that are just about as useful for holding your legs open for a gynecologist.
Instead of pissing around with these heavily isolated exercises which causes more injury than muscle gain (of which is quite low to say the least) stick to squats, lunges and dead lifts.
Anything else is just Mickey Mousing, that is, appearing to be more competent than you really are.
#4 – Tricep Kickbacks
It may not be 100% useless and is a great way to wrap up your tricep session with time under tension, high reps and super sets.
Far too many bros in the gym pick a heavy weight they can’t hold in a fixed position for too long making them look like they’ve given up hope of reaching a climax after several hours of binging on softcore porn, reducing its effectiveness.
On the flip side:
By dropping the weight, you’re forced to do hundreds of reps to even feel a ‘slight’ pump.
The fact is,
No one ever built huge triceps lifting bitch weights.
Stick to dips, skull crushers and a close grip bench press to target your triceps more effectively.
#5 – Rear Delt Flies
Unless you’re looking to get on stage and compete competitively, you’ll be wasting your time working on your rear delts.
It’s also safe to say that at least two thirds of gym goers don’t even know where their rear delts are.
Chances are, if you are performing rear delt flies, you look like a completely wankered child trying to flail away a deadly silent fart.
Make sure you focus your efforts on strong shoulder-building exercises including the military press, shoulder press and shrugs.
Not only will you develop bigger deltoids and traps all round, but utilising compound movements like the military press will also be very beneficial for your core strength.
#6 – Dumbbell-Loaded Side Bends
Building strong oblique muscles is an important part of building up your core strength.
However, dumbbell-loaded side bends is possibly one of the most useless exercises to do just that.
Perhaps if you want to get on stage then you can bust your ass in the gym with giant rest, drop, pause and superset side bends and find yourself unable to stand up straight (following the vulnerability of your spine during the movement) and miss that “lads on tour” piss up you’ve had booked for ages to Ibiza.
The choice is yours.
Also, dumbbell-loaded side bends have absolutely no functional use as you rarely find yourself tilting your body to the side in every day life.
And NO. This exercise will not stop you developing love handles or spot reduce fat on your obliques so skip this perilous exercise all together.
Instead stick to hanging knee or leg raises and side planks to target your obliques.
#7 – Incline Chest Press Machine
Personally, I’ve yet to come across a decent incline chest press machine which doesn’t involve you going through the motions of a shoulder press exercise with minimal focus on the upper chest.
With that said:
Your best bet is to stick with dumbbells or a barbell for your pressing needs.
Or even better, an actual bench:
Don’t waste your time on rigid movements which will not build up the stabilising strength you need to progress further with more resistance.
Like Jason Statham at the Great British Bake Off, nothing says you’re more serious about making gains than a traditional bench press.
There you have it.
7 useless exercises which you should stay well away from.
You’ve probably gathered by now that huge compound movements mixed in with perfect technique are your best bets at developing your physique.
So stop with the ridiculous isolation exercises and wasting your time in the gym working on small muscle groups.
Get in, lift like an animal and recover well is the name of the game.
Besides, there’s a good reason why ‘drug free’ bodybuilders have been able to build phenomenal bodies.
Compounds upon compounds.
Are there any other useless exercises we missed off?
Do you agree or disagree with the above?
Drop us a comment below with your thoughts!
Joseph is the Founder and Editor in Chief of CheckMeowt. When he is not sat at the computer guzzling down the nearest thing with protein in it, he can be found pulling up the world in the gym. Occasionally, he is best described as socially unreliable and easily distracte.